Tuesday, June 06, 2006

12 Angry Men

Our pal, Deuce, is up for jury duty this week. I, myself, have never been called for jury duty, anywhere, ever.

This is unfortunate as I would very much like to serve, from a purely academic point of view. Due to my profession, however, it is unlikely that I would be kept on a jury, but it does happen from time to time.

Most other folks prefer to get out of serving; civic duty not being what it once was. I am frequently asked what the best way is to get out of jury duty. There are really very few, and there are no slam dunks.

On the other hand, I can list many things that WILL NOT get you dismissed.

1) Showing up in a Star Trek costume
2) Being the Chief Justice of the Oregon Supreme Court
3) Being blind
4) Being deaf
5) Being pregnant
6) Being incontinent
7) Having ADHD
8) Not knowing English
9) Wearing a kilt
10) Being a court employee
11) Being a television celebrity
12) being illiterate

Of course, if you really want to get out, you can do what my grandmother once did. During jury selection for a criminal trial, she professed a genuine belief that the police are ALWAYS right. She was obviously dismissed, which disappointed her. She really wanted a chance to send a bad guy to jail.

Reading for Comprehension:

1) How would you feel if Deuce was on your jury?
2) What sort of costume might you wear to actually get dismissed from a jury?
3) How might real jury duty differ from an episode of Law and Order?


  1. 1. I would be afraid. Very afraid.

    2. Um... how about my birthday suit? :-P

    3. Much, much slower!

  2. As Inigo Montoya might say -- I do not think "reading for comprehension" means what you think it means.

  3. You were expecting literal reading comprehension questions here, in the Lounge??

  4. 1. I would be rather surprised to see myself on my own jury. However, I have utter faith I would be fair and balanced and naturally find myself not guilty, no matter whom I stabbed this week.
    2. I knew the Star Trek uniform would not be a deterrent. So far, this here Klingon uniform has kept me in the selection room all day.
    3. None of the female attorneys look like Jill Hennessey. Many look like Sam Waterston however.

  5. 1. Would be very funny, scary but funny. What would be more scary however, would be discovering Brian was my lawyer.

    2. I have a selection of outfits I could pick from.....

    3. As Ive never seen it, I cannot comment - is it like Judge Judy??

  6. Anonymous2:31 PM

    1. I would feel like reenacting my favorite scene from American Idol.

    2. Terry Schiavo

    3. Longer. On Law & Order, you get the highlights, the dramatic parts. In real life, you have to sit through the whole damn thing.

  7. First off "big ups" to UX for the Princess Bride reference!!! You rock!

    1) Are we in the same Jury because if we are - can we sit next to eachother and write notes or pass around polls all day like we did in HS?

    2) I would dress like a hooker and keep winking at the lawyer and judge while mouthing - call me. If nothing else - hell - I might get a date!

    3) No cool music between testimonies.

  8. Anonymous3:04 PM

    Maybe the questions should be re-labeled Reading for Incomprehension . . .

  9. Did you know that "nursing mother" will get you out of jury duty in federal court? Seriously. It's one of the boxes you can check off. But, oddly, doesn't work in state court. Discuss.

  10. queen amidala4:53 PM


  11. The biggest differences between Law and Order juries and Marion County juries are attire and interest. Compare:

    Law and Order
    1. Jacket and Tie/Business Attire Dress
    2. Transfixed on case/renders wise decisions

    Marion County
    1. Ripped-tar stained jeans and t-shirt with chew spit/Trailer Park house dress like Inog wears
    2. Picking buggers, falling asleep, asking judge for smokes

  12. 1.) I don't know Deuce, but how bad could it be?

    2.) I would show up wearing a wizard outfit complete with staff and a pointy hat.

    3.) the jurors on Law and Order aren't sitting in an asbestoes invested courtroom.


Be compelling.

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