Die Freundliche Himmel

German travel agency, Ossi Urlaub, has announced that it is booking an all-nude charter flight from the German town of Erfurt to the popular Baltic Sea resort of Usedom.

55 seats are available. Each ticket runs the approximate Euro equivalent of $735 (US). (I suppose this means a long line for the lavatory with 26 couples and one polyamorous threesome queuing down the aisle waiting to join the mile-high club...)

This, of course, piqued my prurient interest. However, while I momentarily considered chartering a similar G&T Lounge all-nude flight to Vegas, the horror of reality has dashed my dreams.

First, I would worry about turbulence. Bouncy aircraft would lead to jiggling. Lots of it, and probably not of the pleasant variety. Which leads to seat belts, which would chafe, I suppose, were one not wearing pants.

Second, there are many of you that I really don't want to see naked.

Which leads to my third point. On most flights, when I fly alone, I usually get seated next to the only other large man on the plane. So, on the all-nude G&T flight, I would very likely get sat next to Tom and/or Inog, and really, um, no offense, but no. No. No No. (Mitch maybe, or Dr. B., but I digress...)

Fourth, there are some of you who would be very popular on an all-nude G&T flight. You know who you are. And really, it should be all about me. I don't want to share the spotlight, so go put some clothes on, goddamnit!

Alas, the dream of an all-nude G&T charter flight was but a flicker of hope, momentary, ethereal, but not meant to last. The Germans though, they really know how to put their dreams into motion. Take Farfegnugen for instance, or Lebensraum. Now there's a German idea that really took off...