Dinnertime Conversation

Over turkey, pastrami and avocado sandwiches, we kept half an eye on the reruns of Dark Angel playing on the SciFi channel. As is common at the Gin & Tonic geek-heavy headquaters, the following conversation ensued...

"So, who wins if Sidney Bristow (Alias) has to fight Max (Dark Angel)?"

"Well Max, obviously, she's genetically altered, but that's not the fight you want to see."

"I don't?"

"No."

"Oh, I want to see Max fight Six from BSG."

"No. Well, Max takes that one too, but no."

"Who then?"

"River."

"Max fight River Tam (Firefly)? Yesss.... I see the truth of it."

"It's a close one though, they're both altered. They're both conditioned to kill."

"Yes, but Max escaped at an earlier age. She had less training."

"River has the strength, tactics and strategy. River can also turn off her morality, like a switch."

"River then."

"Yes, River."

[Silence, as we weigh our collective geek-shame. We look at the baby. She has developed the new skill of spearing her Cheerios with tiny ears of baby corn.]

I propose: "Buffy (Vampire Slayer) could take River."

[surprisingly, while my wife bears an unhealthy obsession for all things Buffy, she actually doubts this.]

"Buffy doesn't have the training, and she's burdened with morality."

"It does get in the way, but Buffy is endowed by ancient spirits to throw down with vampires, demons, and minor deities."

"I don't know, River is smarter. She has superior strategic skills."

[stalemate]

"Evil-Willow?"

"No, she was defeated by Oz."

"No, that was vampire-Willow. I mean evil-witch Willow."

"Worse, she was defeated by Xander."

"Right."

[We look back at the Monkey.]

"There's really no hope for our daughter is there?"

"Nope. She's doomed."

Reading for Comprehension:
1. What do you spear your Cherrios with?
2. Hmmm... River vs. Chuck Norris...
3. I still think Buffy could take River