Auspicious day today. China has its hoopla. Russia and Georgia kick off the start of World War III, and then there are the birthdays...
Yes, August 8, is of course the day of two very important birthdays.
That's right, Dustin Hoffman turns 71 today. Geezus, he's an old fucker.
And radio personality Robin Quivers turns 56!
And that's it, I suppose. Nothing else I can think of. Nothing else of note happening today.
Oh, wait! Ya, no, there is something else I guess. Another important event to note. Sure. On this day in 1786 Michel-Gabriel Paccard and Jacques Balmat completed the first recorded ascent of Mont Blanc in the alps.
So, OK, that does it. Thanks for reading. Talk to you later.
Oh, and, happy birthday to both TOM and OOSJE!
Friday, August 08, 2008
The Shocking Truth
She had something to say, it seemed. I saw her approaching from far down the sidewalk.
She appeared to have been camping recently, downtown. And while she likely did not have a job, she walked briskly, as if she had somewhere to be.
She was headed right for me, walking quickly and making a peculiar humming/buzzing sound. I slowly shifted to my right to provide her a path to pass. The humming/buzzing grew louder. It was if she were warming up, revving, building to something.
She never made eye contact, but knew I was there. She timed her pace. She chose her words.
Without slowing, she passed to my left. As she did so, the noise reached a crescendo, and she bellowed with a sea captain's voice: "THE MAFIA HAS TAKEN OVER PAYLESS SHOES!!!"
And then, she was gone.
She appeared to have been camping recently, downtown. And while she likely did not have a job, she walked briskly, as if she had somewhere to be.
She was headed right for me, walking quickly and making a peculiar humming/buzzing sound. I slowly shifted to my right to provide her a path to pass. The humming/buzzing grew louder. It was if she were warming up, revving, building to something.
She never made eye contact, but knew I was there. She timed her pace. She chose her words.
Without slowing, she passed to my left. As she did so, the noise reached a crescendo, and she bellowed with a sea captain's voice: "THE MAFIA HAS TAKEN OVER PAYLESS SHOES!!!"
And then, she was gone.
Monday, August 04, 2008
Guest Post #1
Well, we have a taker. This one is from Bill:
I bought myself a Super Hero Kit the other day. Yes, you read that right. The contents of the kit are as follows:
~ A Super identity-hiding mask (Red with black lightning bolts on either side)
~ A ’Special-Person’ sticker to proudly display on my super vehicle. (Though
I suspect that others may view that as short bus kind of special)
~ A celebratory horn for those after-lifesaving parties (Said parties for us
superhero types only)
~ A handsome superhero award (Suitable for framing)
~And a handy instruction booklet on becoming a super hero (Complete with
the super hero secret oath and several brain-boggling quizzes)
All that is left is to pick out a cool, superhero name. A name that at once strikes fear in the hearts of evildoers everywhere, yet inspires confidence and pride in everyday common folk. Something majestic. Something pure. The kind of name that Batman would wish he’d thought of first.
I have no special powers that I am aware of, and no super suit came with the kit.
Quickly donning a Winnie-the-Pooh kitchen towel as a cape, I leapt through the door and out into the chill night. My senses tingled as I sought out crime. To the left a dog barked, while overhead the moon crossed behind a cloud. Rounding a corner I came across certain wrongdoers, leaning beneath the hood of a car, assuredly fiddling with some sort of doo-dad for the sole purpose of wreaking havoc.
“Stop, Fiends!” I cried with my best superhero voice. Without hesitation, I slammed the hood down upon them and leapt back, prepared for battle.
“What’s the matter with you?” My neighbor The Nefarious Steve exclaimed. “Who are you supposed to be in that get-up?”
I adjusted my identity-hiding mask and repositioned my kitchen towel cape. Thinking swiftly I said, “I am Pooh Man”
Their gale force laughter filled the night as I went back to my not-so-secret house and packed my superhero kit away safely. I will live to fight another day, but not in my own neighborhood, not where people know me.
I bought myself a Super Hero Kit the other day. Yes, you read that right. The contents of the kit are as follows:
~ A Super identity-hiding mask (Red with black lightning bolts on either side)
~ A ’Special-Person’ sticker to proudly display on my super vehicle. (Though
I suspect that others may view that as short bus kind of special)
~ A celebratory horn for those after-lifesaving parties (Said parties for us
superhero types only)
~ A handsome superhero award (Suitable for framing)
~And a handy instruction booklet on becoming a super hero (Complete with
the super hero secret oath and several brain-boggling quizzes)
All that is left is to pick out a cool, superhero name. A name that at once strikes fear in the hearts of evildoers everywhere, yet inspires confidence and pride in everyday common folk. Something majestic. Something pure. The kind of name that Batman would wish he’d thought of first.
I have no special powers that I am aware of, and no super suit came with the kit.
Quickly donning a Winnie-the-Pooh kitchen towel as a cape, I leapt through the door and out into the chill night. My senses tingled as I sought out crime. To the left a dog barked, while overhead the moon crossed behind a cloud. Rounding a corner I came across certain wrongdoers, leaning beneath the hood of a car, assuredly fiddling with some sort of doo-dad for the sole purpose of wreaking havoc.
“Stop, Fiends!” I cried with my best superhero voice. Without hesitation, I slammed the hood down upon them and leapt back, prepared for battle.
“What’s the matter with you?” My neighbor The Nefarious Steve exclaimed. “Who are you supposed to be in that get-up?”
I adjusted my identity-hiding mask and repositioned my kitchen towel cape. Thinking swiftly I said, “I am Pooh Man”
Their gale force laughter filled the night as I went back to my not-so-secret house and packed my superhero kit away safely. I will live to fight another day, but not in my own neighborhood, not where people know me.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Your Thoughts
Several of you have suggested to me that as long as I'm not posting for the next 12 days, that maybe I should let other people post. Not a bad idea, though I should still be a little selective.
So, if you want to post something, a story, some pictures, a rant, a recipe... whatever.... email it to mrginandtonic@gmail.com
Remember, the more compelling, the better. If you want credit, I'll give you credit. If you want to be anonymous, that's OK too.
OK, I'm done now. Back to taking my break.
So, if you want to post something, a story, some pictures, a rant, a recipe... whatever.... email it to mrginandtonic@gmail.com
Remember, the more compelling, the better. If you want credit, I'll give you credit. If you want to be anonymous, that's OK too.
OK, I'm done now. Back to taking my break.
Still Taking a Break
I am still on a 12-day break. Do not be mistaken. However, I really wanted to share this with ya'all.
Sorry...
Blame Valdez
Sorry...
Blame Valdez
Monday, July 28, 2008
Nuthin
I have nothing for you. Not even prurient filler. The next two weeks will be crazy busy, so I might as well take advantage of it.
I'm taking a break. We'll be back in about 12 days.
...Just in time for the third-annual Ginny Awards...
...OK, I found prurient filler.
I'm taking a break. We'll be back in about 12 days.
...Just in time for the third-annual Ginny Awards...
...OK, I found prurient filler.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
A little Bit of Not-Even-A-Little-bit-Safe-For-Work Monday Morning Horribleness
I think I'm getting soft in my old age.
Originally, I just posted the horrible picture here. But now, I've second guessed myself. I'm all worried about what's appropriate and what's not appropriate. So I took it down.
Jesus Christ, I'm a puss.
Anyway, HAPPY MONDAY!!
Click HERE for the Horribleness
Don't say I didn't warn you.
***SIDE NOTE***
If you google "Cleavage Submissions," The Gin and Tonic Lounge is the #1 hit.
Congrats to all of the submitters; You're Famous!
Originally, I just posted the horrible picture here. But now, I've second guessed myself. I'm all worried about what's appropriate and what's not appropriate. So I took it down.
Jesus Christ, I'm a puss.
Anyway, HAPPY MONDAY!!
Click HERE for the Horribleness
Don't say I didn't warn you.
***SIDE NOTE***
If you google "Cleavage Submissions," The Gin and Tonic Lounge is the #1 hit.
Congrats to all of the submitters; You're Famous!
***Critical Rules Update***
Dave has graciously reminded me that he, in fact, has a clearly stated rule. A rule that I have taken to heart and follow zealously.
Dave's rule is: "No, that stripper didn't really like you."
A review of my own personal rules, which incorporate Dave's above-stated rule, can be reviewed by clicking HERE.
Dave's rule is: "No, that stripper didn't really like you."
A review of my own personal rules, which incorporate Dave's above-stated rule, can be reviewed by clicking HERE.
Rules
I sat watching Chicago the other night. You know, the movie musical with Catherine Zeta Jones, Richard Gere and Renee Zelweger. It's essentially a movie about women in prison.
Which, of course, set my, mind racing.
No, not about that, you dirty dirty reader. I know where your mind went.
No, it caused me to stop and think for a moment about rules. Yes, rules. important rules that I've learned. important rules to live by. And as I watched Chicago, I was reminded of one of the best rules I know. It came from regular-reader Mitch, and it goes lie this:
"No movies about women, unless the women are in prison. And, no movies about animals, unless the animals are in prison with the women."
Words to live by. But then, I realised, there are other rules that I've learned from others close to me. For instance:
Dr. B's rule is: "Once saved, always saved." A message of hope for the damned like me. However, it's just fucking wrong to take theological advice from Dr. B.
Just sayin...
Then there is Tom's great rule: " Just do a little bit extra." Oh, but wait, no, that was Tom's dad's rule. No Tom's was: "Don't bend the spine."
I'm pretty sure he was talking about his comic book collection. Although, he may have been talking about his enormous-but-fragile penis. Right Mrs. Tom?
Of course, my own wife, Mrs G&T, used to have the rule that she would only eat animals who couldn't look her in the eye. And no, that is not an invitation for comments about my own penis...
Fred has declared openly: "I have a god-given right to argue with the television. Doubly so with commercials."
Oosje, I have discovered, has many rules. Unfortunately, none of them are useful.
And Inog? Oh yes, his rule was very clearly stated long ago: "No Chinese." That, however, is an inconvenient rule for him to maintain these days in light of certain things...
For the rest of you, though, I can only speculate what your useful rule might be:
Lisa: "Welsh, not English."
Helly: "Yuck, boys leave your shirts on. "
Marge: "Don't interrupt the NASCAR, Missy, less your brother ain' breathing, or the trailer's on fire..."
Familytrain: "Yogurt fucking is next to godliness. Jesus Saves - 10% on offshore Viagra."
Dave: "If I scowl long enough, someday I'll be a star."
And the rest of you: "The Lounge is the greatest blog ever. I may start praying to Mr. G&T. I'll certainly send him all of my naughty pictures..."
Which, of course, set my, mind racing.
No, not about that, you dirty dirty reader. I know where your mind went.
No, it caused me to stop and think for a moment about rules. Yes, rules. important rules that I've learned. important rules to live by. And as I watched Chicago, I was reminded of one of the best rules I know. It came from regular-reader Mitch, and it goes lie this:
"No movies about women, unless the women are in prison. And, no movies about animals, unless the animals are in prison with the women."
Words to live by. But then, I realised, there are other rules that I've learned from others close to me. For instance:
Dr. B's rule is: "Once saved, always saved." A message of hope for the damned like me. However, it's just fucking wrong to take theological advice from Dr. B.
Just sayin...
Then there is Tom's great rule: " Just do a little bit extra." Oh, but wait, no, that was Tom's dad's rule. No Tom's was: "Don't bend the spine."
I'm pretty sure he was talking about his comic book collection. Although, he may have been talking about his enormous-but-fragile penis. Right Mrs. Tom?
Of course, my own wife, Mrs G&T, used to have the rule that she would only eat animals who couldn't look her in the eye. And no, that is not an invitation for comments about my own penis...
Fred has declared openly: "I have a god-given right to argue with the television. Doubly so with commercials."
Oosje, I have discovered, has many rules. Unfortunately, none of them are useful.
And Inog? Oh yes, his rule was very clearly stated long ago: "No Chinese." That, however, is an inconvenient rule for him to maintain these days in light of certain things...
For the rest of you, though, I can only speculate what your useful rule might be:
Lisa: "Welsh, not English."
Helly: "Yuck, boys leave your shirts on. "
Marge: "Don't interrupt the NASCAR, Missy, less your brother ain' breathing, or the trailer's on fire..."
Familytrain: "Yogurt fucking is next to godliness. Jesus Saves - 10% on offshore Viagra."
Dave: "If I scowl long enough, someday I'll be a star."
And the rest of you: "The Lounge is the greatest blog ever. I may start praying to Mr. G&T. I'll certainly send him all of my naughty pictures..."
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
922
Nothing of historical note occurred in the year 922.
No battles. No major births. No martyrs. No discoveries.
Nothing at all.
How can that be, though?? How can an entire year pass on Earth without one single notable historical event?
It was the Buddhist year: 1466
It was the Islamic year: 310
Yet, not a goddamn thing happened. Nothing. You might think, with all these folks sitting around doing nothing for a year, someone might have realised it was a good time to do SOMETHING, and taken the opportunity to conquer something, or invent something.
But no. Nothing took place. It was a global siesta. Leaving me with this, nothing notable to talk about. With the one exception that this post is post #922. The same number as the year when nothing happened. So, there is no clever tie-in. No historical anecdote.
Still and all, though, 922 posts... Holy hell. That's a lot of posts.
No battles. No major births. No martyrs. No discoveries.
Nothing at all.
How can that be, though?? How can an entire year pass on Earth without one single notable historical event?
It was the Buddhist year: 1466
It was the Islamic year: 310
Yet, not a goddamn thing happened. Nothing. You might think, with all these folks sitting around doing nothing for a year, someone might have realised it was a good time to do SOMETHING, and taken the opportunity to conquer something, or invent something.
But no. Nothing took place. It was a global siesta. Leaving me with this, nothing notable to talk about. With the one exception that this post is post #922. The same number as the year when nothing happened. So, there is no clever tie-in. No historical anecdote.
Still and all, though, 922 posts... Holy hell. That's a lot of posts.
Voyeurweb Dot Com
I think this is how Igor got started over at http://www.voyeurweb.com/
One day, folks come to understand that your little wayside stop along the information superhighway is a logical and productive outlet for their exhibitionist urges. Sudenly, this sort of thing starts to happen.
Now I know what it must have been like to be Spencer Tunick.
Admittedly, there are no rules, since there is no contest, but still, good lord, would you two just get a room..
One day, folks come to understand that your little wayside stop along the information superhighway is a logical and productive outlet for their exhibitionist urges. Sudenly, this sort of thing starts to happen.
Now I know what it must have been like to be Spencer Tunick.
Admittedly, there are no rules, since there is no contest, but still, good lord, would you two just get a room..
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Gauntlet
I'm running out of breath declaring the non-existence of any contest. There is no prize. There are no rules. I'm not even really accepting submissions.
However, that having been said, it seems that certain participants are in it to "win."
I don't even have any idea what that means.
Anyway, here's some more...
However, that having been said, it seems that certain participants are in it to "win."
I don't even have any idea what that means.
Anyway, here's some more...
Monday, July 21, 2008
Really and Trully
There is no submission contest. No Game. Nothing.
I am NOT accepting submissions.
Sure, I'm posting them, but mostly because you people are dirty dirty exhibitionists.
But really, this is your own doing...
I am NOT accepting submissions.
Sure, I'm posting them, but mostly because you people are dirty dirty exhibitionists.
But really, this is your own doing...
Not Accepting Submissions
I am not accepting cleavage submissions. There is no contest. There is no exhibition.
However, the submissions keep coming in.
So, I suppose I will just post them as they arrive. If you feel the need to send a picture of your cleavage to mrginandtonic@gmail.com I will just go ahead and post it for you. However, really, there is no submission contest.
So, here's what's arrived so far:
However, the submissions keep coming in.
So, I suppose I will just post them as they arrive. If you feel the need to send a picture of your cleavage to mrginandtonic@gmail.com I will just go ahead and post it for you. However, really, there is no submission contest.
So, here's what's arrived so far:
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
